Not a Fan of the Ten Commandments

Posted on June 2, 2013 by

ImageI’m not a fan of the Ten Commandments. When I read them, I feel defensive. Perhaps they’re useful for running an institution where a high degree of authority and control are desired, such as in a prison, but to expect a thinking, growing person to see these rules as Truth or as a model for spiritual living? I don’t buy it. Here are a few reasons why.

The Ten Commandments
A set of rules and regulations for keeping law and order in society, circa 1445 B.C.

  1. I am the LORD your God: you shall not have strange Gods before me.

I can understand the desire to make a distinction between seeing God as Truth, Wisdom, and Love verses putting one’s faith in a person or object that is less than God, but if we have been given free will (which I believe we have) God wouldn’t tell us who or what to believe in. We’d be free to choose. Second, a “strange” God could encompass anything or anyone we haven’t been exposed to, such as a person from another country or culture. Therefore, this commandment encourages prejudice and racism, which goes against the nature of God.

2. You shall not take the name of the LORD your God in vain.

Definition of IN VAIN: 1) to no end: without success or results; 2) in an irreverent or blasphemous manner. I suppose this commandment is telling people to be purposeful and intentional when addressing God, but it sets God up as an authority outside the person. This goes contrary to my personal experience and understanding of God being inside of us. Plus, I believe that God can hold whatever we feel and bring to God, including our anger, rage, and confusion about our relationship with God.

3. Remember to keep holy the LORD’S Day.

Why do we need a “LORD’s Day?” If God is here, now, everywhere and always, we are never separate from God. Taking time out for ritual and remembrance is one thing, but singling one day out as being above another day is silly. Every day is sacred. Jesus understood this, which is why he challenged the notion of performing healings on the Sabbath.

4. Honor your father and your mother.

What if your mother and father are abusive? What does it mean to honor a person, anyway? To put them on a pedestal? To listen to them even when they’re wrong? I say, respect others, but don’t put yourself in harm’s way, and know that it’s okay to go against the will of any other person, including your parents, if something feels uncomfortable or bad.

5. You shall not kill.

What about in self-defense? What if you’re protecting the life of those you love, or little ones in your care? What about killing someone like Hitler (e.g., Dietrich Bonhoeffer)?

6. You shall not commit adultery.

When a large percentage of the population is doing or has done something, perhaps we should take time to understand the reasons. Maybe we don’t really want to be monogamous. Maybe our desire to have sex with another person is symbolic of our quest for union with God, and as long as we’re far from oneness, we’ll continue searching for it in other people.

7. You shall not steal.

I’m not a fan of stealing, but what about someone who takes food from another person (or a store) for survival, or to feed their family? What if a person has fallen on truly hard times and is homeless or without money. Sure we have government programs, but there are times when a person feels stuck and become desperate. Yes, there are options other than stealing, but when faced with starvation, survival instincts kick in, which is a good thing.

8. You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor.

I don’t have a problem with this one. I believe in being truthful. It’s the “you shall not” language that makes me cringe. How about, “If you bear false witness against your neighbor, it sets up bad karma. If you want others to trust and respect you, learn to treat others with love and respect.”

9. You shall not covet your neighbor’s wife.

What about your neighbor’s husband, or children for that matter? This rule comes from a patriarchal society that treats women as property. It’s sexist and seeks to control women. If two consenting adults are coveting each other, there’s something else happening that needs to be looked at and dealt with.

10. You shall not covet your neighbor’s goods.

I don’t have an issue with this one either, but again, if someone is in a bad situation and they take something in a moment of desperation, I’d have difficulty coming down hard on them. I understand that to function as a society we need rules and regulations or rampant abuse could occur, but some situations require understanding and compassion, rather than strict observance of any law.

I think the Commandments should be rewritten from the perspective of those who seek growth in consciousness and who desire to become more compassionate, loving, and respectful of themselves and others. Instead of “commandments” I prefer “guiding principles.” Rather than “Thou shall not kill.” how about, “Respect the life that has been given to you and to others.” Then, if in a moment of self-defense you choose to kill or lie, you are choosing based on valuing your own life or the life of those in your care who you seek to protect. Other guiding principles could include the following:

  • Practice meditation, mindfulness, prayer, the use of affirmations, and dream interpretation
  • Identify twelve “Godly” or divine attributes that can serve as guides on your journey (e.g., knowledge, wisdom, kindness, fortitude, strength, truth, sight, grace, charity, patience, humility, respect)
  • Blossom where you are planted
  • Learn to love and accept yourself as you are; do the same for others

What are some of your guiding principles?

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Trailblazers and Acting Boldly

Posted on January 26, 2013 by

Stelli & Maria in Miami 2(Image above: me and my mother, Maria, the most influential trailblazer in my life)

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about trailblazers, women in particular. I feel awe and inspiration when I think about women who are fully out with who they are and who are making an impact on the world. When I think about their lives it makes me reflect upon and question my own life. Sometimes I feel like I’m not doing enough. I have a deep longing to make a difference in the inner life, the spiritual life, of others. I’m less concerned with gains that are material in nature. Sure, it’s nice to have nice things and to see the world improve materially, but I like helping people expand their consciousness so they can become who they are meant to become—without self-judgment and without projecting their shadows and fears onto the world. For me to be fulfilled and to live out my purpose, I need to act boldly and I need to do it now.

During our meditation group this week, Jeff read the following piece about wisdom written by Barbara Brown Taylor:

Wisdom is not gained by knowing what is right. Wisdom is gained by practicing what is right, and noticing what happens when that practice succeeds and when it fails. Wise people do not have to be certain what they believe before they act. They are free to act, trusting that the practice itself will teach them what they need to know. (An Altar in the World, 2009, p. 14)

This is a great reminder for me because sometimes I sit back and wait thinking that the right answer will come to me, when in reality, what I have to do is act. Act and trust that I will grow in wisdom from taking the next step, even when I feel afraid. I encourage you to do the same. Whenever you feel stuck, whenever you are confused, don’t try to figure out in your head what to do. Just take a step in the direction you feel is best and be ready for what comes next. Regardless of the outcome, you will gain a deeper understanding of yourself and the creative power that lies deep inside you. Be brave. Be bold. And, remember to have fun!

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Wisdom of Dreams

Posted on December 11, 2012 by

Do you remember your dreams? Have you tried working with them to uncover their meaning? I’ve talked with people who think dreams are random and serve no purpose, but I’ve been actively interpreting my dreams for many years and I believe they can provide tremendous insight to understanding what’s going on in your inner life. If your desire is to become a more conscious and awake human being, then it’s wise to pay attention to your dreams.

Dream

There are many ways to work with dreams, but the most important thing is to trust your inner wisdom and to use discernment as you work through their potential meaning. Dreams are usually symbolic in nature so to interpret them, you must break down the parts and analyze each symbol. It is best to recall dreams immediately upon waking and to write them down as soon as possible. The more you follow this practice, the more you will remember the details.

Some dreams bring to consciousness behaviors or patterns that no longer serves us. Dreams of sleeping with or being attracted to someone could be an invitation to integrate some attribute that you associate with that person. If you’re meek at work, for example, a dream may depict you sleeping with an assertive boss or coworker. This does not necessarily mean that you want to sleep with that person in your waking life; rather, it could mean that your soul desires to become more assertive in order to bring your life into greater balance.

You are the final authority of your dreams so don’t be afraid to play around with the symbols. It can sometimes be fun to share your dreams with others who are also in the practice of interpreting their dreams. Sometimes their associations can provide an “a-ha” moment for you. Whatever you do, try not to take dream interpretation too seriously; rather, have a playful attitude and remember to be gentle with yourself.

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Thinking About Purpose

Posted on November 29, 2012 by

What do you consider to be your life purpose? Have you taken time to figure this out? How would you describe your purpose to someone?

When I think about my purpose I think about using my strengths and gifts to help others become more loving and accepting of themselves and more aware of their purpose. I see life as a big adventure where we peel back layer after layer to get to who we truly are. As we learn more about ourselves, more of our true self is revealed.

I believe we all have a purpose and each of us is a unique manifestation of God’s love in the world. When I use the word God, I mean the life force that animates everybody and everything. I believe this life force is rooted in Love, Wisdom, and Truth. I try not to anthropomorphize God, but since I’m human, I’m sure my understanding falls short.

Speaking of purpose, I’d like to share with you the amazing story of Anita Moorjani. She was dying of cancer, made a full recovery, and is now sharing her wisdom with us. Check out the interview below to hear her inspirational story.

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The Joy of Meditation

Posted on November 3, 2012 by

I turned 40 this week. I have imagined this to be the beginning of a magical time for me. My 20s and 30s were rich, but tumultuous—lots of change, lots of growth, lots of hard work. Part of my optimism stems from the fact that the more I meditate daily, the more I do my own personal and spiritual growth work, the more joy I feel.

One of Jeff’s favorite spiritual teachers is Paramahansa Yogananda, an enlightened man from India. He seems to have a better understanding of and relationship with Christ than do many Christians. I recently pulled one of Yogananda’s books off Jeff’s bookshelf and the wisdom contained in his writing is helping me to understand more about my own personal journey. He states,

The more one daily meditates deeply, and feels his joy increasing, the more his soul battery will be recharged with wisdom poured out from God. Meditation, the company of saints and intelligent, mentally powerful people, good books, introspection, creative work in art, science, literature, and business—all further the development of a strong mind, receptive to the wisdom of the soul.

—Paramahansa Yogananda, The Second Coming of Christ: The Resurrection of the Christ Within You, Vol. I, p. 164

May your life continue to be enriched by the works and presence of great beings like Yogananda, as well as everything good and true around you now.

—Stelli

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Three Times a Day

Posted on September 14, 2012 by

Several months ago Jeff and I started meditating three times a day. Before that, I tried to meditate it at least once a day, but my practice was intermittent. Even though three times a day sounds difficult, I find it’s actually easier because it has become habitual, kind of like drinking my daily cup of coffee each morning. We meditate for about 20 minutes in the morning when we wake up, then at lunch time, I “go under” for 30 minutes. Since my days are spent working on the computer and on the phone talking with coworkers and clients, my mid-day meditation helps me return to work feeling more focused and energized. We also try to take daily walks outside after work. Yes, even when it’s snowing or snowy. Although we don’t go out when it’s raining, we got caught in rain storms twice this summer. It was actually a lot of fun (after I gave in to the fact that we were going to get drenched). Our final meditation is usually right before we go to bed, except on days we meditate with our group, in which case we meditate earlier in the evening. So if you’re trying to jump start your meditation practice, try to commit to several times a day and stay with it for about a month so it becomes part of your daily routine. Before you know it, it will become as natural as eating! Try it.

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Meditating Laying Down

Posted on August 11, 2012 by

People are often surprised to hear that I prefer to meditate laying down. Many have been told this is not good because if you are too comfortable, you may fall asleep. Although this could be true for some, I like to feel comfortable when I meditate, and laying down is the ideal position for me. I usually take off my shoes and get under the covers because I also like to feel warm during my meditation. It is true that at the beginning of my practice, I had a tendency to enter a deep state that resembled sleep. The difference was I felt a grater sense of calm and wholeness when I came out of my meditation. To meditate effectively, I do not believe that you have to be strict with your body and hold postures or positions that feel uncomfortable or unnatural. If you’re cold, grab or get under a blanket. If the floor is too hard, sit in a soft chair or lay in a bed. If you find that laying in a bed makes you go to sleep every time, try meditating in a chair. I think it’s best to try different approaches and positions until you discover what works best for you. Enjoy!

-Stelli

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